The Desert and Meadows of Life- Love and Breakup

Love is something that only our heart can appreciate to its limitless boundaries. Falling passionately in love with someone is one of the most exhilarating feelings as if we had wings and we are flying high in the sky feeling the wind romantically blowing through our hair.
This is what happens- we see a person of opposite gender, a striking personality, the beauty and aroma of which completely covers our other senses, making us feel light-headed. The situation gets more joyful when we receive the same vibrations of liking from that person. Hence begins the seemingly endless process of proposing, dating, late night messaging and chatting. We are happy; the world appears to be a cheerful place. But our worst enemies are still on our way- parents. Well not exactly in the case of all the lovers, but many, both boy and girl will find their enemy in parents. Just because they might have told us to stop in our tracks; or told us to stop meeting or talking to our ‘love’, then for us they are wrong. Our heart along our brain and every cell of our body agrees with our thought and we proudly declare a cold war, or to be precise, a fight for love. We feel proud that we are in love and are fighting for the right cause. This war goes more intense in girl’s family. The once home sweet home is now a prison. The girl is grounded as, ‘ghar ki izzat toh usi ke haath mein hoti hai.’ This makes the situation worse. Parents whom we loved are now nowhere near even to be respected. And sometimes to make the matter worse, we run away, (that is called ‘teaching our parents a lesson’ in our vocabulary). Far from our family, with the person we love. We do not regret at that point of time. And why should we? We are in love after all. And everything is fair in love and war. We feel proud as we have won the fight for love from this ‘cruel world’. But if we are not capable of this major step, we have more in stores. We use the new found way of ‘reality shows’ (who give false promise to unite the lovers) to confess our love to our parents, which yields nothing but humiliation for both our parents and ourselves. But still, even after all this we remain blindfolded by the love. The wind of romance still keeps blowing.

And when love ends, it feels as if we have been dropped like a rock from mid air…we scramble to get hold of something…anything, as we witness our body falling at great speed, and then we come to know that its our heart that has shattered on the earth below. When we enjoy any serious relationship, breaking up is never an easy option. It is just like piercing your heart and letting it bleed. Breakup, to lovers can be a serious Total Knockout.
Our self confidence declines at an unexpected rate. For few days it becomes impossible for us recover from the shock. Then slowly and steadily new reality dawns upon us- parents. We are scared and afraid. Afraid because we really do not know what our previous actions and behavior towards our parents will lead to. On the personal level, we lose the self confidence we had built up during the relationship. We start believing that we are not to be loved by any other person ever again. Breakup not only affects facebook relationship status, but also our health-both mental and physical. Another thing that breakup affects, is our self awareness. We wonder what we are without our partner. Or, where did my self awareness go? A loss of identity is amplified for those enmeshed in their partner/relationship.
What really one needs after a breakup is self affirmation. We need to explain this fact to ourselves that we don’t need someone else in our life establish an identity. We should offer ourselves gentle words and kind gestures during a breakup. We should recognize our fragility and our need to build ourselves back up. Pass honest, encouraging judgments about ourselves instead of destructive ones. We must self-love ourselves!
Only then we can cope up with any disastrous breakup and start to enjoy our life.

By Manish Singh

A happy life

Life is always empty,

Without friends and loved ones…

You will find yourself with

Memories that are filled with happy times.

Crying for the things

In life which we didn’t get

Make us all feeling lonely

And more and more upset.

But there is only one thing

Which we all tend to forget

Is that we should also

cherish the things we get.

we keep thinking of our future

but can not let the past sway

we kept fighting for the future

but can’t let our past away.

we all think that our life

like a sky which is vast and bright

where there are a lot smiling faces

which fills our life with lights.

now come on lets move on

and make us today a promise

that we will try and make everyone

happy and fulfill all the wishes.

By -

Tanushree Bose

India's continuing shame Honor Killing ...

Since last few months, it has become a routine to wake up in the morning and read horror stories. Stories of gory killings of young couples. Youthful lives that have been crushed to death by none but their very own family members. Their fault: they loved and decided to marry, while both of them did not belong to the same caste.

Earlier also, once in a while we used to read such news about such killings- mostly in the remote parts of the country. We were shocked, and we thought such dastardly acts were possible only on the lands that did not get the light of education and modern civilization. But now there is no scope for any consolation even: honour killings, where men or women are killed by their kin or other members of their caste, are taking place in the heartland states of Haryana, UP and even in the capital of the world’s largest democracy, in Delhi.

Two young hearts fall in love with each other, and with a dream of a living a happy life together they marry without their family’s permission – and in no time they are so brutally killed by their own family members, in the name of preserving the honour of their family/community.

Women's activist groups say that such killings happen in order to save the honour of the caste, community or family. Caste and gotra still remain one of the most important factors governing the lives of many people in some parts of north India. The huge number of honour killings that sometimes go unreported happen because of inter-caste marriages, or marriages within the same gotra. In many cases the groom or the bride is killed for marrying someone from a lower caste.

India's social system is based on a caste hierarchy but over the years education and liberation has loosened the rigidity of caste framework amongst people living in the cities. There has been an increase in the number of inter-caste marriages between couples in the cities. In fact the government helps those above the age of eighteen in such matters. But somehow the laws never seem to reach the villages, and they continue to function on their own belief system. The problem in the villages is the strong presence of a panchayat or khap that consists of members of the same caste and decides all matters relating to their community. This panchayat passes judgement on issues community honour. Many times, villagers give more importance to judgements passed by this self-appointed court than the judgements passed by the local legal court.

In many villages, the leader of the self-appointed court has so much power that the police are kept away from village politics. On many occasions parents kill and dump the bodies of their children in the name of honour and the police are not even informed. This is why there are so many unrecorded deaths. In an interview with a newspaper, a villager from one such village mentioned that they are happy to solve their own problems by not involving the police or government in it. Some local leaders even publicly comments that such killings are needed to maintain the integrity of the society.
It is alarming that even in a city like Delhi, where pockets of villages exist, such killings have started to happen. It has been found that often the killers are the brothers, parents, cousins, uncles or other relatives of the victims. In one incident, even the mother of a woman was found to be the killer of her daughter.

Adding fuel to the problem were the utterances of some young educated parliamentarians who seem to be backing such khap panchayats and want them to have legitimate power to rule!
It is very unfortunate that the caste system in India has turned into a social evil for many. Shameful as it may sound, such things still exist in many parts of the country, notably in Rajasthan, Punjab, Haryana, Bihar and some parts of UP. The nation seems to be living in two different worlds. First, those living in the city, who are progressing not only economically and technologically, but also in terms of their ideas and outlook towards their lives. Then, those in the villages who are still bound by the rigid beliefs of the caste system that existed hundreds of years ago and refuse to move ahead. Where will these two worlds meet?

It is a shame to civilisation that so many innocent lives are lost in the name of this belief. It hampers the growth of a human mind and forces it to live within the illusionary world that it has created for itself. There is a strong need for government intervention. The government needs to enforce strict measures to stop honour killings. There should be a ban on all decisions made by these self appointed courts in the villages. They have proved fatal for many innocent lives. India is world’s largest democracy and in a country where people have the right to voice their opinions freely, to be young and to marry the person of your choice shouldn’t be fatal anymore.

By Shîrshâyán Brâhmáchäry

Whats so real about reality TV?

“I went there and wasn't selected... I don't wanna go there again.. they are hopeless.. they seem to listen to you while doing everything else at the same time.. I have lost my confidence” .. and she never sang again in public. .. This may be the story of most of the people who go for auditions for dance and song reality shows which have been oh so frequently aired on TV nowadays..

I hardly gave it much thought until one of my friends said the same lines to me.....

The name reality TV or reality shows in itself suggests a show that presents purportedly unscripted dramatic or humorous situations, documents actual events, and usually features people sometimes in a contest or may be some other interesting situation(s) where a prize is awarded to the person who is the best or popular among his/her fellow contenders. Well, that is what is portrayed to the outside world who is unaware of the “behind-the-scenes” acts. After all, who would want to go into the deep secrets of these fun and entertaining shows after a hard day at work?!

Reality TV has long lost its actual meaning. Now its no different than any other tv serials portraying innumerable shady relationships. Reality TV is a modified.. or rather twisted.. and highly influenced form of reality which is far from reality. It utilizes sensationalism to attract audience and increase advertising revenue profits. Participants are often placed in exotic locations or abnormal situations, and are often persuaded to act in specific scripted ways by off-screen “story editors” or “segment television producers”, with the portrayal of events and speech manipulated and contrived to create an illusion of reality through direction and post-production editing techniques. No doubt the contestants who are lucky enough to get selected, become stars because of there acting, contestant feuds with lewd language, well-rehearsed speeches in front of the camera (back-stage), controversies, drama and the politics amongst the judges - if not because of their talent.

The shooting during the audition period as shown on the screen is so amazing that you actually gawk at the crowd that turns up and live on the streets for 2-3 days in anticipation that one day there talent would be exposed to the world. Its also quite amazing that you hardly ever see the faces which have been selected, standing in the crowd.

While watching the “yahan tak ka safar” of a contestant, I wondered how the cameraman managed to stay around the “would be star” right from the entry gate?! Amusing.. isn't it?

Anyone would let it pass if the show has all the elements to keep you glued to it until its grand finale. But what about those who left their jobs, their education just to have glimpse at stardom.. What goes on in the mind of the parents and family members when they see their loved ones failing, some subsequently going into depression.. may be off-screen.. may be on-screen? Or, is that too pre-planned? Why is the human nature becoming so desperate and greedy for attention and glamour where almost everyone is ready to loot you and cheat you?! Isn't the love of friends and family enough for them to lead a beautiful and contended life?

How can one think of choosing one's life partner on screen, see your loved one cheating you, disclose all your secrets past and present and humiliating your family.. that too LIVE, !? Still, such shows are a hit amongst the youngsters who wish a fairy tale life of their own with the caption 'lived happily ever after'.. It is so ironical.

I believe its a never ending debate... and hope that we do not suffer at the hands of those who have lost the true spirit of competition and are out there only to make money...

                                                                                                                    By Poulami Laskar

The country called "facebook"

With more than 400 million active users, if facebook were to be a country it would form the third largest country in the world in terms of population & would give neck to neck competition to  Indian and Chinese peers who are constantly striving to build a cricket team of pending breed in their domestic social sphere. Citizens of this addicted civilization are generally mute And generally express their expression through a peculiar style of Writing  “heyy hw r uhh” wannna be my fraands wid mehh?

                                                Yeah it might appear as a bunch of lousy travellers from prehistoric era   constantly experimenting with new ways of conversation. Here your emotions are rigid and restricted as a pumpkin –‘awww’ ‘mmmuaah’ ‘aayee’ ‘lol’ ‘bie’ & ‘tc’ to name a few. And lest I forget the smileys that are strategically assigned at the end of random scribbled statement signifying the immense seventh heaven happiness.  Here people don’t have well spaced airy home sweet homes instead they have glossy polished sweet profiles with edited profile picture having a concerned text in red declaring ‘dnt mess wid mehh’ well who wants to???

                                             Well breathing in the air space of this non political territory has some benefits too. You can simply block the neighbourhood friends in your friend list or you can easily hit a delete on their names in order to certify they don’t exist in your hectic world. Consequently crime rates in this country are low because as soon as people sense some fiction amongst their fellow devotees they automatically remove them from their mechanical existence.  

Gone are the days when you made specific pattern in your minds in order to memorize the birthdays of their friends & associates. Today all the citizens just take a glance at the right hand corner of their homepage, what follows next  is a reflex action quickly directed to birthday boy’s wall “happy b’day dude!”

                 “Is facebook is basically the only reason why we know their birthdays?”

  Seriously there‘s a life beyond social networking. You don’t need to updates your status in order to achieve a bulk of likes.  It’s not required at all!!

“So be who you are and say what you feel as those who mind don’t matter as those who matter doesn’t mind.” Today children as young as 6-7 are becoming a part of facebook rather cherishing the charms of childhood! Parents prefer to make accounts on facebook in order to deal with the emotional & psychological stress of their teenagers.

Have you ever pondered over the fact that, you spend more time with your online friends than your grandparents who desperately look for opportunities in order to have a word with you and later feel dejected and secluded after experiencing your indifferent attitude towards them….! 

Give it a thought….!

                                                                                                                 By Anikesh brahma

                                                                                                                                     

मुल्क बदला, लोग बदले, बदला हिंदुस्तान ...

मुल्क बदला, लोग बदले, बदला हिंदुस्तान ...

खुद ही है अब लोग बदले, बदला है इंसान ...

मज्हबो में बट गए हम ..

अब रहा कौन इंसान ...

लड़ पड़ेंगे, राम रहीम पे ..

हिन्दू और मुस्लमान ...

जान की कीमत ना पूछो...

हुए है हम हैवान ...

बेच डाली रूह भी अब तोह ..

है नोटों के बस गुलाम.

                                                                                                      by Aurko 

An article on Destiny ...

 DESTINY REVISITED


Maalik, a common but important name to Kishor . He was a highly respected person in a small area of Shimla. His public appearance was always in a neat black coat, ironed white shirt, black trousers and polished black boots. He rose from the one of the poor regions of Delhi, and after a long fifteen years struggle, he made a position between the handful riches of the beautiful hill station. Whenever he used to take a stroll in the Shimla market, shopkeepers happily handed him the earnings of the day. He was their landlord after all. It was because of him that these shopkeepers were able to earn their livelihood. Kishor always used to come back at six in evening. His estate was one of the biggest in town. In the living room, hung a portrait of an old, stout woman. S he was more or less in her fifties. He stood for a few moment, then said, “Ten years have passed. Your face still shows the same ego it had fifteen years ago. You know, your portrait always gives me a hatred that encourages me to be richer than I am. I never wanted you to live, but I hope now that you were alive, and I would have shown you that I have fulfilled my promise. I won the bet. And your daughter had lost everything you bestowed on her.” Kishor was looking at the lady’s portrait with a look that was if not of kindness, then not of hatred either. He left the room. Kishor was grown up in outskirts of Delhi and later became a thief, just to have a bit adventure. When he left for Shimla with his mother, he was to work for a stout landlady. His mother died when he was seventeen years old. From then he was forced to work for a lady whom he never liked. Time passed. Kishor knew that he was not born for being a servant. He was a free bird to fly wherever he want and do whatever he wants. In order to continue his adventure, he started stealing tires of cars and sold them in different areas. One day his landlady caught him stealing. Upon asking, he curtly replied, “I steal because one day I want to stand in front of you and say that you are not the only rich in this world.” His landlady slapped him and said, “Pigs are never live in big palaces. You are a pig and I bet that you will never win.” Maybe out of her ego, she didn’t handed him to the police, he ran away back to Delhi and with her landlady’s words in mind he set to do anything that will make him rich. After every possible illegal works, which included stealing of cars, smuggling and Kishor’s favorite-stealing of tires. After five long years, he came back to Shimla and saw that her landlady was dead and her only daughter, who wanted to get rid of the sudden poverty which struck the family, was keen to sell her land at a very small price. Kishor purchased the entire land and in not less than few years, he made a boom in the business. Today it will be fifteen years of his prosperity. It was time for him to act again. He had a meeting with one of the very rich personality of the town regarding property business. At eleven in morning he met that person. He was a small man in his fifties, with maintained beard and royal moustaches. Kishor went on describing the property that it was the one of the most revenue producing land and that the rent obtained from the shopkeepers is far more than enough to live a comfortable life. The man listened to the entire details carefully and was eager to buy his land. He said, “I will be much obliged to purchase the land sir. And I am ready to give any price you offer.” Kishor looked at him for a moment and then asked him, “Do you know a lady who lives the other end of the road with her husband who is greengrocer?” The man looked a bit taken aback by the sudden question. He said,” Maybe. Has she got to do anything with this? I can tell my servant to bring her here if you want anything from her. “ “No” ,Kishor said. “I want you to accompany me to her house. There is something I will tell you only after we reach there. We cant have the deal without her.” After ten minutes of driving, both men were standing at the lady’s doorstep. It was her husband that opened the door. He was a bit puzzled to see both rich men standing at his doorstep. “You are not here to complain about any rotten vegetables from my shop. Are you gentlemen? As I don’t remember selling some.” he asked nervously. “No.”, said Kishor, “I don’t buy vegetables from your shop. Do not panic. On the contrary, we are here to meet your wife if you don’t mind.” He was nervous but called his wife. She came out and was stunned to see Kishor at her door. After few minutes, when no one said anything, she said, “I remember having agreed that we are not to meet again when I sold my ancestral land to you. Now after….what say... fifteen years? Why are you here? “ Kishor said nothing for a moment, then smiled and said, “That’s because I am not going to meet any of you standing here again.”, he turned at the other rich man and said, “You must have understood by now that it was her ancestral property that I have in my name now. This land belongs to her and therefore I want you to ask her the rate at which she will sell you the property as I have already transferred the ownership in her name.” He turned to the lady and said, “I have already purchased a property in your name. You have double of what you gave me these long years back. I am giving you your life back. I have no grudge with you anymore. My work is done anyway. I have won the bet.” When he finished, he handed over the ownership papers to the lady and went for the door, when the lady asked,” What are you going to do know that you have nothing left? And why did you take my land if you were not to have this permanently? “He smiled and said “God knows that I wanted to be rich only because your mom had a bet with me and I wanted to prove her that even pigs can live in palaces. And don’t worry about me. I’ll live. Goodbye.“ When he crossed the car of the other rich man, in which they came, he called the man and said, “I see, sir, that you have changed the tires of your car.” The man replied, “Yes, but how do you know?” Kishor laughed and said, “Because it was me who stole your tires. I remember this car very well. And then you came to my shop for buying another pair! Strange, isn’t it? “ ,he turned his back at the stunned, confused and blank faced man and started walking in another direction. He was no more a rich. He was poor again. He was again a vagabond who is carefree. Richness seemed to have given him a boundary for his action. Now that he was back to rags again, he was not worried about anything. Not that he was no more Maalik ; nor that he was poorer than the shopkeepers he lent his land for earning livelihood. ‘Let go. ‘, he said to himself. ‘I had enough. I can bear this politeness of being rich no more. Its time to get back to old business.’ And he left the city for some new place and new living.


BY MANISH ( A Wolvesmash Member)*